-The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
-Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
-I loathe the expression “What makes him tick.” It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.
-There are two kinds of light–the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures.
-It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
-All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
-I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
-You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.
-I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.